Why wait for tomorow when you can know it today!

The world is going to end in 2000. Oh, uh..I mean, the world is going to end in 2001. Wait, 2002…that’s what I meant…2002 is …what? It didn’t. Oh. 2003 is when it is going to end. That’s what I said back in 2000!

I will never be able to understand how people can get away with making predictions about the coming year and never get embarrassed about their poor guesses. This is the time of year when all of these insights are given to the rest of us. Those of us that cannot see the future or hear the voices have to flock around those that can. How could we imagine trying to live through this year without knowing what is going to happen. We all read the last page of the book first, right?

Let’s look at one of these soothsayers for a moment.

Televangelist Pat Robertson recently announced what is going to happen to us over the next twelve months. Oil prices are going to go up. There is going to be violence in the world. The stock market is going to crash…but that isn’t till 2009 at least. Pat also says that god told him who is going to win the election…but don’t worry. He isn’t going to spoil it for the rest of us.

If we look at some of the other warnings that Pat has been able to give us of before, we will see the millions killed by last year’s terrorist attacks. We will see the horrible Pacific Northwest tsunami of 2006. We will also take note of the blowout re-election of President Bush.

Well, to be fair I have to take back the terrorist attacks. We were spared from that one because since Pat warned us when god told him of the attacks, we started praying and “God in his mercy spared us”

http://hamptonroads.com/2008/01/pat-robertson-predicts-violence,-recession-2008